[LifeStyle] Flex your social muscles – and stick to one drink: 10 ways to be much more confident at parties

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Have you become more stressed about big gatherings since the pandemic? You’re certainly not alone. Here is how to leave fear behind and have a great time

As the great Oliver Cheatham once sang, “I like to party … Everybody does.” Except, it’s not true, is it? Not everyone does like to party. In fact, it never ceases to amaze me how many people will admit, in private, to hating parties. It’s actually quite hard to find anyone who is a self-confessed party animal, especially since the pandemic.

And yet the party spirit lives on. People continue to have birthday gatherings, host soirees (even though they can’t pronounce “soiree”) and insist on having work leaving dos no one wants to go to except the people nobody wants there. Sometimes I’m not sure why we do this to ourselves. But we do. And it’s got to be a good thing – otherwise, our lives would just be work, home and the screens. When you put it that way, maybe parties are the only vestige of humanity we have left. We’ve gotta fight for our right to party – with confidence. Here’s how.

Be kind to yourself and others

Since there were no social events for months at a time over the past few years, it’s hardly surprising that some of us are feeling a little out of practice. Psychotherapist Philippa Perry says: “I see sociability like a muscle – during the pandemic, a lot of this muscle atrophied and hasn’t yet got back to pre-lockdown strength. Personally, it shocked me how much social muscle I lost. At my first gathering, a book launch, post-lockdown, I lasted a mere 45 minutes and was exhausted by it. I think it’s taken me a year to get back up to speed. And I’m a 65-year-old outgoing type. God knows what it must feel like to someone who is still forming as a person and is usually shy anyway.” Give yourself some time to recover the muscle.

Be a good guest (level: basic)

The old-fashioned advice to “be a good guest” never fails. How can you make yourself useful? What would your granny want you to do? Pour drinks. Take coats. Hand out napkins. Plump cushions. Answer the doorbell. Take photos. Try to embrace the idiocy that is small talk. (“Have you come far today?” “Can I fetch you some olives? Or perhaps a cashew?”)

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jun/28/flex-your-social-muscles-and-stick-to-one-drink-10-ways-to-be-much-more-confident-at-parties